Blowjob Basics: The Ultimate Guide to Giving Incredible Oral Pleasure

When it comes to oral sex, giving a blowjob is both an art and a delicious form of intimacy. Whether you’re new to it or looking to elevate your skills, the key is a mix of enthusiasm, technique, and connection. Here’s everything you need to know to give a memorable, mind-blowing blowjob—plus the best positions to spice things up.

Start with the Right Mindset

When it comes to giving a blowjob, technique matters—but mindset is everything. You can learn all the tips and tricks in the world, but without the right mental approach, the experience can feel mechanical or disconnected. A great blowjob starts in the mind. It’s about feeling empowered, present, and genuinely connected to your partner and your own pleasure.

Confidence Is Key

Confidence doesn’t mean you have to be an expert—it means embracing the experience without shame or pressure. Oral sex is an act of intimacy, not performance. When you approach it with confidence, you naturally bring more sensual energy into the moment. You’re not worried about doing it “perfectly”—you’re focused on feeling and giving pleasure.

Confidence also builds with communication. Ask your partner what they like, what feels good, and don’t be afraid to guide them too. Being open turns oral sex into a shared experience rather than a solo act of service.

Let Go of Shame or Obligation

Blowjobs are often portrayed in media as something done “for” a partner, as if it’s a chore or obligation. That kind of thinking kills pleasure—for both people. The right mindset means understanding that oral sex is a mutual exchange of intimacy, not a favor or duty.

If you’re not in the mood, that’s okay. Consent and enthusiasm go hand in hand. But if you are curious or turned on by the idea, allow yourself to enjoy it. There’s something deeply sexy and powerful about giving pleasure—on your terms.

Get Into the Experience

Being present makes all the difference. Don’t rush to the finish line. Pay attention to your partner’s reactions, take your time exploring their body, and use all your senses. The way they breathe, moan, or shift under your touch tells you what they love. Tuning in like that turns oral into an erotic dance, not just a task.

Also, let yourself enjoy the visual, the feel of skin, the taste, the smell—it’s okay to be turned on while giving. When you’re mentally present and genuinely engaged, your partner will feel it. The energy becomes electric.

Flip the Power Dynamic

Here’s the truth: the person giving the blowjob often has more control than they realize. You’re the one deciding the pace, the pressure, the rhythm. When you embrace that power, oral sex becomes something you do with someone—not for them. It becomes a space where you get to explore dominance, sensuality, or submission—whatever dynamic you’re feeling.

Whether you want to be playful, teasing, seductive, or commanding, your mindset drives the energy in the room. That power is sexy and liberating.

It’s About Pleasure, Not Performance

Great oral sex isn’t about deepthroating perfectly or following a step-by-step guide. It’s about tuning into the moment, letting go of pressure, and finding joy in your partner’s pleasure. With the right mindset—curious, confident, and connected—you’re not just giving a blowjob. You’re creating an experience that’s intimate, empowering, and unforgettable.

Foreplay: Tease and Build Anticipation

A truly unforgettable blowjob doesn’t begin when your lips meet their skin—it starts long before that, in the art of anticipation. Foreplay is where the real magic begins. It’s the tease, the build-up, the slow burn that makes the climax even more intense. When you take your time and let desire simmer, the experience becomes far more than just physical—it turns into something magnetic, erotic, and deeply intimate.

Start with Your Energy

The most powerful foreplay often begins with your body language, tone, and subtle touches. Whisper something naughty in their ear, give them a knowing look, or brush your fingers lightly across their thigh. Let them feel that something exciting is coming without saying a word. The more you hint at what’s next—without rushing into it—the more their anticipation builds.

Take Your Time Exploring

Before going anywhere near their most sensitive areas, let your hands and lips wander. Kiss their neck, trace circles on their chest with your tongue, or trail kisses down their stomach. Don’t be afraid to go slow—this kind of exploration teases the senses and builds desire with every passing second.

Linger in unexpected places: inner thighs, hips, lower abdomen. Let your breath hover, your lips skim. You’re telling their body: “Not yet, but soon.”

Engage All the Senses

Use everything at your disposal—touch, breath, voice. Lightly blow warm air over their skin, alternate soft kisses with firmer bites, or even tie their hands (with consent) to heighten their awareness of every sensation. Whisper what you’re going to do, then take your time getting there. Let the mental stimulation stoke the fire.

When You Finally Go Down…

By the time you get there, your partner should be aching for it. That’s the beauty of the tease—it turns what could be a simple act into an electrifying experience. Foreplay doesn’t delay pleasure—it amplifies it.

In the world of oral sex, foreplay is your secret weapon. Use it well, and you’ll have them on edge before your mouth even gets involved.

Techniques to Blow Their Mind

Use Your Hands & Mouth Together: Your hand can assist your mouth, especially on the shaft. Use a twisting motion with lube or saliva for a smooth, slick sensation.
Focus on the Head: The tip (especially the underside) is extremely sensitive. Swirl your tongue, apply gentle suction, or flick your tongue under the ridge for maximum effect.
Deep Throating (Optional): Not for everyone, but if you’re comfortable, taking more of the penis into your mouth can add intensity. Relax your throat, breathe through your nose, and go slow.
Play with Rhythm: Don’t rush. Start slow, vary the speed, and mix soft licks with deeper strokes. Keep things dynamic and responsive to your partner’s reactions.
Involve the Balls: Use your hand or tongue to gently massage the testicles. Some also enjoy stimulation on the perineum (area between the balls and anus) for extra pleasure.

Positions for Comfort and Control

1. Lying Down (Receiver on Back)

The lying down blowjob position is a classic for good reason—it’s one of the most comfortable and intimate ways to give oral pleasure. In this position, your partner lies flat on their back while you position yourself between their legs, either lying on your stomach or propped on your elbows. It allows for total access, deep eye contact, and a pace that you control.

This position is ideal for taking your time. You can use your hands freely to stroke the shaft or explore other sensitive areas like the thighs, perineum, or testicles. It’s especially good for combining hand and mouth techniques, as you have full visibility and mobility. Plus, the angle makes it easy to switch between teasing licks, gentle suction, and deeper strokes—all at your own rhythm.

What makes this position so appealing is its intimacy. You’re face to face with your partner’s reactions. Their moans, breath changes, and eye contact all feed the experience, creating a deeper connection. It’s perfect for long sessions, slow teasing, and sensual build-up. You can even incorporate toys or light massage into the play for an added layer of sensation.

Whether you’re just starting out or looking to enhance your oral play, the lying down blowjob position is a go-to for relaxed, connected, and deeply satisfying pleasure. It’s not just about giving—it’s about creating a shared experience you both enjoy.

2. 69 Position

The 69 position is one of the most sexually charged, intimate, and deeply satisfying experiences two lovers can share. It’s not just about giving—it’s about receiving at the same time, a perfect loop of pleasure where mouths, tongues, and bodies are fully engaged. This position is raw, sensual, and immersive, designed for those who crave deep connection and can’t get enough of each other.

In the 69, both partners align head to toe, allowing each to orally stimulate the other simultaneously. The most common variation is lying on your sides or with one partner on top, depending on comfort and desire for control. The beauty of this position lies in its balance—your mouth on them, their mouth on you, bodies pressed close, heat building with every lick, moan, and gasp.

There’s an added thrill to 69—the challenge of keeping focus while receiving intense pleasure. It’s a position that encourages total surrender to sensation, where rhythm, breath, and control intertwine. Whether slow and teasing or fast and intense, it becomes a shared dance of oral indulgence.

This is not a passive position—it’s fully active, demanding presence, passion, and playful chemistry. For lovers who want to be completely immersed in one another, to taste, feel, and lose themselves in the moment, the 69 is pure erotic bliss.

3. Side-by-Side

The side-by-side blowjob is a relaxed, intimate oral position that offers both comfort and closeness. Lying next to your partner, either facing them or angled slightly downward, you have easy access to their body without straining your neck or back. This position is perfect for longer sessions, soft teasing, and sensual foreplay. It allows for eye contact, playful touch, and even kissing between licks and strokes. Ideal for slow, passionate pleasure, the side-by-side setup brings a calm, connected energy to oral play—perfect for lazy mornings, cozy nights, or anytime you want to take your time exploring each other.

4. Kneeling (You on Your Knees)

The kneeling blowjob is an iconic position—erotic, raw, and visually powerful. It evokes a mix of dominance and submission, yet can also be incredibly loving, intimate, and deeply connected. Whether you’re in control or surrendering to the moment, this position has the potential to be both primal and profoundly sensual.

In its classic form, one partner stands or sits at the edge of a surface—like a bed, couch, or chair—while the giver kneels in front of them. From this angle, the kneeling partner has full access and control over the pace, rhythm, and technique. It allows for deep eye contact, teasing strokes, and hands-on interaction that heightens the emotional and physical intensity of the act.

This position isn’t just about who’s kneeling—it’s about the energy you bring. Kneeling can feel submissive and worshipful, offering your mouth and attention in full. But it can also be empowered. The person on their knees is setting the tone, guiding the experience, deciding when to tease and when to take things deeper.

Visually, it’s one of the most arousing positions. Watching your partner’s mouth on you, seeing their eyes lock with yours, or feeling their hands grip your thighs—all of it feeds the erotic energy. It’s a scene of indulgence, fantasy, and raw lust.

You can enhance the experience by using your hands on the shaft, balls, or thighs while your mouth works its magic. Mix in slow, wet licks, gentle suction, and deep strokes. Or use a toy, flavored lube, or temperature play to make it even more unforgettable.

Whether you’re the one kneeling or the one standing, this position brings intense connection, heat, and unmatched satisfaction. It’s a timeless favorite for a reason—simple in form, explosive in pleasure.

With your partner seated and you between their legs, you get eye-level access and full control. Plus, it’s a great height for using both hands and mouth comfortably.

5. Sitting Edge (Receiver on Chair or Bed)

Pro Tips for Pleasure & Safety

Use Plenty of Lube or Saliva: It enhances sensation and reduces friction.
Keep Breathing: Pace yourself, especially during deep strokes.
Pay Attention to Reactions: Moans, breath changes, and body language tell you what feels good.
Switch It Up: Don’t stay in one motion too long—variety keeps it exciting.
Aftercare Matters: Check in after the act. Cuddle, kiss, or share a laugh—it helps deepen intimacy.